There's a little writing project going on over at, “The Art of Manliness” blog, where readers are able to submit a blog entry about someone they believe embodies what it means to be a man. Some of the early entries have inspired me to write about someone I'm beginning to look up to more and more, as he continues to grow into this awesome young man, my little brother.
Nolan, is the second child (after me), with two younger sisters right behind him. He is a big time gym rat, participating in football, wrestling, and soccer through high school, and continuing into college with rugby and judo as he makes his way through the physical therapy program at Creighton University.
As kids, Nolan was the kind of brother who always wanted to follow me around, hang out with me and my friends, and do whatever else he could, to be just like me. Somewhere along the line though, he started to figure out his own thing, and today, it's me who looks up to him. Here are a few lessons in manliness my younger brother has taught me.
Don't worry about what others think: I love my brother, but that doesn't stop me from pretending I don't know who he is when he embarrasses me on a daily basis. My brother takes longer than my sisters getting ready to go out, and can't walk past a mirror or reflective surface without looking at himself. The thing is, Nolan cares about his physical appearance, and when he cares about something, it doesn't really matter when others tell him it's dumb, or that he looks stupid when he's staring at his reflection in the car window. Don't get me wrong, I really do think he should get help with the whole checking himself out thing. But then I'll watch him bring our little sister to his judo practice because she wanted to try it out. Nolan cares about our sister just as much as he cares about his reflection, and he didn't even have to think twice about it, even when all his buddies were snickering at the sight of him hanging out with his little sister the entire day. Now that is definitely pretty cool.
Speak what's on your mind: Every holiday season, a bunch of long time friends and I get together for our annual Christmas dinner. This past winter, as I was getting dressed for this dinner, Nolan came up to me and basically told me I wasn't going out dressed like that. When he was done giving me a hard time, he took me to his closet and helped me pick something out that was a bit more reasonable to him. When Nolan thinks something is wrong, he's not afraid to speak up. Once he speaks his mind though, he lets it go, he's not really there to judge. The thing that separates him from most criticizing assholes is his ability to easily empathize with almost anyone. He's experienced countless struggles with others (including me) laughing at something he cared about or thought was really cool. So in turn, he understands he shouldn't be judging anyone else when they may seem a little different or odd as well.
No one is perfect, but try your best: After a long first semester away from home at college, my brother decided to come home for Christmas break and party with his friends. I don't usually really care what Nolan and his friends do when they go out, but I can remember his reaction when my dad found a bunch of empty alcohol bottles littered on the family car floor the next morning. I've never seen anyone so scared for his life before. Even though I have plenty of nice things to say about my brother, he is far from perfect and has done some incredibly stupid things in the past. The thing is, he's not afraid to admit it. Instead of trying to hide it or allowing it to linger, he's eager to accept it, learn from it, and move on.
All these traits are what make up this very confident young man my brother has grown into. I feel very proud when I see him out there not desperate to please anyone other than himself, and the people he loves. His many quirks and screw ups are what makes it easy to feel he's not there to judge any of yours. I hope to one day learn to live with his great understanding that your friends and family don't want you to be perfect, and that your faults are what make you endearing. I think everyone can live a little happier when they can embrace any mistakes, instead of being afraid to make them.
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