How to Handle Failure

As you know, I've been trying to get my first Windows Phone 7 app in the marketplace for some time now. The app I've been working on converts a number from one unit to another. It's a very simple idea as a first attempt, but I've put a lot of effort into it, and I'm proud to announce that it's finally made its way into the marketplace. Now for the bad news, this short lived high came crashing down on me when I decided to check out my download stats and found that not one person has downloaded my app. Now, you can imagine how disappointed I was, we are often our own harshest critic and a lot of different thoughts can start creeping into your head, I'm not good enough, it was silly to even think I could do this, I don't deserve to succeed at something like this, why bother?

The thing is, my experience has taught me that this cycle of highs and lows are just a part of life (at least for me it is). You think you're making progress with a girl you like only to have her tell you what a great “friend” you are, you think you're starting to get really good at playing the guitar until you watch a youtube clip of some kid playing at a skill level you can only dream of, or you knock off all the items on your to-do list one day only to fall into the trap of doing absolutely nothing the rest of the week.

I hate disappointment just as much as anyone, and I used to let that fear of failure paralyze me from doing a lot of normal things like speaking in public, or talking to girls. This latest failure has been particularly disappointing, but has reminded me of some of the things I've picked up over the years that help me deal with disappointment and overcome my fear of failure.

Failure means you're brave – There are very few things in my life that I consider completely within my comfort zone. For everything else, there is some amount of anxiety to overcome. When I fail, I congratulate myself for having the courage to act despite that fear. So what if I told a girl I like her, only to have her laugh in my face, at least I tried. If I do this 100 more times I'm bound to stumble into success at some point right?

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take” - Wayne Gretzky.

Failure means you've learned something – There isn't one thing in my life that I've done perfectly the first time I tried. It took interviews with 11 different companies before I could land my first internship, I've been rejected by girls more times than I'd like to admit, and I've spent countless hours re-explaining concepts I've poorly described the first few tries (I work as a tutor). The point is, that I feel confident in these areas now because of the numerous failures I've had with each. It's not very hard to identify what went wrong, and avoid the same mistake the next time. Use each failure as a stepping stone towards the final outcome of success. Each time you make a class presentation, keep what worked, throw out what didn't work, and repeat until you're the greatest public speaker on earth!

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” - Tomas Edison on the first 10,000 materials he tried to create a light bulb out of.

Failure means you're on the way up – No matter how many reasons I give to make failure look like a good thing, I know that it's still tough to take. It' so easy get really down on yourself when things don't go the way we envisioned. Don't be tempted into believing that it ends here. In fact, failure is only just the beginning. As the failures and disappointments keep piling up, I've come to understand that failure isn't really a big deal, it's just part of the process. At this point, we've already established that you have the courage to keep going. You'll have to trust me on this one, it feels great to keep working at something that's hard, especially once you start seeing progress.

“Never let the defeat of the past rob you of the success of your future.” - Ray Comfort