I've now been a student for six years at the University I'm attending. That's right, six years! Most of my friends have already graduated and moved on to great jobs, and I can't wait to do the same. I can already feel the anxiety just thinking about all the resume building, job searching, interview preparation, and social activities standing between me and my dream job. I actually look forward to knocking these things out of the park, but until then I have a much more urgent problem on my hands.
Now that a lot of my friends have money, I feel like I'm holding them back from a lot of the things they want to do, because I can't afford to keep up.
The guilt from this problem gives me one of the most horrible feelings I've had in recent memory. I feel cheap, I feel like I'm letting my friends down, and I fear they will eventually get fed up and resent me.
Although it feels like this little problem has grown larger than something I can handle, I thought I'd share some of the tricks I've picked up that have helped me cope with this problem up until now.
Journal – The first part of the problem is the most important. When this little issue gets me down, I'm in no state to get back up and make things better for myself. That's what my journal is for. I keep two journals, my “Thankful” Journal is where I jot down any little item during my happiest moments. The Journal I turn to during this crisis however, is my “Pride” journal. This journal has all the little compliments or positive comments friends might through my way during the day. Here are some examples of my most recent entries:
-”Your reverse layup is unstoppable dude” - baller friend
-”That color looks really nice on you” - dorm mate friend
- “You're off to a really great start” - web camp partner
These little pick me ups remind me that I have at least some things to offer, and now I'm motivated and ready to show my friends I care.
Take Charge – Instead of having to shoot down a friends invite to expensive dinners and movies, I try to step up and invite others to my own events. My recent favorite is inviting a few friends over for board game night (extra fun with alcohol). Cranium, Taboo, and Poker have been fun lately. Note* please no monopoly, that game will only lead to disaster.
Common hobbies create another easy opportunity for inexpensive but fun hangout time. A bunch of buddies and I play basketball about twice a week, and another friend and I have guitar jamming sessions every once in a while.
If you have some serious organization chops, setting up a house dinner rotation could be tons of fun, and a huge money saver. Maybe two people take care of the cooking per rotation, and everyone else takes care of entertainment, maybe a movie, or game. It's all up to you.
Don't forget to check out your local library and University for event listings. They often have great opportunities at reduced rates.
Don't Worry – My last advice is more of a “do as I say, not what as do,” kind of tip. Just try not to worry, you're still fun even if you turn down a few outings here or there. Just invite them over to hang out at your place next time. If they are the kind of friends worth keeping, they'll gladly come over and watch free Hulu documentaries on your 13” laptop screen in the room you rent out of a house with no furniture.
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